Aug 12, 2022 • 33M

Revisiting late 90s ideas of masculinity

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The Twelve Inquiries
Welcome to The 12 Inquiries, a year-long conversation between two friends about 12 topics that interest us. You could call it a monthly salon, though that sounds a little grandiose. We hope you’ll join us in the conversation. Who knows, maybe we’ll become friends. Each conversation will take place over a month. We’ll publish an introductory newsletter and podcast episode the first week of each month. During the second week, we’ll host a live conversation on Twitter Spaces with guests. On the third week, we’ll publish a short recap of what we learned, and respond to questions and comments we receive. During the fourth week, we rest. Well, really, we prepare for the next month’s inquiry.
Episode details

It was the era of Fight Club, Maxim, metrosexuals, and “The Game.” How did 1990s notions of masculinity shape our gender identities, our friendships with men, and how we treated women?

Welcome to the second of the twelve inquiries! Each month we choose a topic, share a podcast, and then host a conversation with friends on Twitter Spaces. You can learn more about us and the project at our welcome post.

This month’s episode is undeniably more personal and vulnerable than last month’s hot takes about the last and next 15 years of Twitter. In this episode, we discuss our struggles growing up to win the affection of women and the respect of men. We revisit the movie Fight Club more than 20 years after its release. And we consider the challenge of crafting a positive vision of masculinity that young people today can aspire to without shame.

As always, we would love to hear your thoughts – either in the comment section below or by writing to us at And we hope that you’ll join us in a couple of weeks for a Twitter Spaces discussion with some special guests to discuss how social norms of masculinity affect sex, friendships and how we deal with conflict. Thanks for sharing some time with us.